Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
As I begin this post, I consider why I am writing. The initial thought was to document my journey as I prepare for the move to Albania and once there to document my coming and going of daily life and any travels or interesting things that happen to me. But now, that all seems so mundane.
Prepare. A word with a pretty simple meaning: get ready. Well, I have been doing plenty of that with a new passport, multiple inoculations, paying off my student loan and credit card, putting my cat up for adoption, and all the countless little details it takes to make a move of this nature. But this past week, I have been brought to my knees, literally, by the lack of real preparation I have been making for a move of this nature.
I received an email yesterday from our secretary at work. She stated that she’d heard through the grapevine that I was moving forward with my plans to teach overseas for two years and that I needed to print the attached letter of resignation and sign it with an effective date of June 12, 2012. A letter of resignation? I was stunned. I’m not sure why I was stunned. Hadn’t I been planning this for a year? What on earth had all this preparation been for if not this? The headache I had been nursing for three days began to intensify. Then I cried out, “I am not ready!” I immediately thought of Moses when God told him to go back to Egypt and get the Israelites. I flung my head on my desk and tearfully told God, “I am not equipped for this.”
So I do what I normally do when something important happens. I called my sister, Beverly. I told her about the letter and she was also a little taken aback. We talked about it and she said that this was the biggest step of faith God has asked me to take so far. We figured, I am either going to do this thing or I’m not. And there it was sitting in my inbox, waiting for me to sign. The next big step of faith.
I left school last night without signing the letter. I woke up this morning and my first thought was that I cannot do this. So I prayed. And through the tears and the fear, God brought me to Himself with this; “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding and He will direct your path.” Parents, please have your children memorize Bible verses. I don’t remember when I learned this one, I don’t even know the scripture reference (and I even forgot a phrase-not surprising that it’s the part about submission), but when I needed it, God brought it back to me.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” How can I not? This is the God who created the universe. The God who flooded the earth but saved Noah and his family. The God who used Moses, an ineloquent, murderer to free His people from Egypt. The God who raised Lazarus from the dead. The God who gave His son for my salvation and raised Him from the dead, defeating Satan once and for all. How can I not trust Him to do what He says He will? He says He will direct my path and I know He will.
Friends, I have been humbled. I realize that although I know with all my heart that this move has been by God’s calling, I have been attempting to do it Maureen-style. On my own. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’ve prayed and read my Bible out of obedience, but I haven’t really tuned in to what God’s way is. And isn’t His way always the better way…the only way? But this will change. Today. Right now. There is no way I can accomplish this crazy thing without God to show me where every step should be. I have a greater understanding of what happened on the Sea of Galilee that day when Peter walked on the water with Jesus, and then fell. He took his eyes and his focus off of the Lord. Well, mine is back where it needs to be.
Would you like to come with me on this journey? I covet your prayers that I would remain faithful and keep my eyes on Jesus. It’s the only way this new chapter in my life can come to pass. I also need funding support. I have currently raised 16% of the funds I will need to get to and live in Albania. Please pray about it and if you hear God’s call to support me, go to www.teachbeyond.org and click donate at the top of the screen.
Blessings!
Maureen
